He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
