Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
