we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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