I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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