I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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