angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
