we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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