There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
