Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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