This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
