I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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