Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
