I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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