you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
