well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
