can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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