wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
