they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
