My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
