oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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