Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
