Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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