he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
