hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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