can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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