u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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