I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
