Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
