My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
