Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
