They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
