you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
there is puke in my bra ... again
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
