There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
