how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
