you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
