i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
this hospital has no fireball
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
