I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
