im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
