I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
