i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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