if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
