JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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