Already got asked if we're dating
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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