yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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