apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
