Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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