C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
