You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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