we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
