It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
this just has baby written all over it
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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